he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize