Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize