sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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