at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
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Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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