your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
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Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Can I color on your dick again?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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