I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
dude. I can hear the air.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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