I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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