You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize