You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
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I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
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I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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