I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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