well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
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Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
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At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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