and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize