I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Randomize