Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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