I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
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i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
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I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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