I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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