i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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