remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize