this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
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we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
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I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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