I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Be still, my beating vagina.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize