Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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