If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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