Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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