Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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