i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
cat food counts as protein by the way
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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