Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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