we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize