just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize