he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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