I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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