i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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