You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
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On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
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Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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