Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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