i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she smelled like a LAN party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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