who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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