btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
We smell like vodka and hangover
send nudes
from the living room?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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