oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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