FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just found puke in my bra..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize