Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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