Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
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When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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