you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
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So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
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Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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