Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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