So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize