I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
someone owes me an orgasm
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize