That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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