this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize