Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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