i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize