You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize