Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize